After we bought out half of Mountain Equipment Co-op back in Canada and felt there was nothing else we could possibly need, we quickly found out what we forgot to bring was a translator. Our first dinner experience was, well, an experience. We stood outside a tent on the side of a highway, trying to distinguish any of the numerous things hanging over the B.B.Q. while a handful of Thai people stared at us with huge grins. Here, we asked what has become our most common question to each other. "What do you think that is?" No one knew a word of English except for a nice man that knew approximately 5 words. "Maybe I can help you". But then, thats really all he knew. At that point we were welcoming ANY help. We eventually found out we were looking at stomach and some other sort of intestine. I asked about fish. They only had fish heads. Of course. What do you need the rest of it for? Finally we managed to get a small plate of beef and squid. They came with sauces that make battery acid seem mild, which we cried our way through. Ian is still recovering. When we were done, the nice man, whose name was actually "Man" came over and asked us if we liked our meal......we thought. Enthusiastically, we replied "Yes!" I guess what he asked what if we wanted something else. Another dish promptly arrived. We stared at is skeptically. Just vegetable I think, but with tiny little shrimp skeletons. In North America, we call these "Sea Monkeys", put them in water and keep them as pets, but I won't even get into our theory about eatable pets over here. The dish wasn't bad but we were starting to get eaten alive by mosquitoes and were looking forward to paying the bill and leaving. We were busy congratulating ourselves for making it through our first meal without ordering something completely horrific, when another dish suddenly appeared. We looked up to see Man standing there with a huge grin. "Duc beer", "I'm sorry, what?", "Duc BEER.", "Duck what?". What we had sitting in front of us was a whole plate of bbq duck bills. We grinned our way through it, mostly trying to figure out how to even eat it. As soon as Man walked away, Ian looked at me with huge frightened eyes, and said, "Run, before he orders us anything else!"
What is amazing is how people stare. If we stop to ask for directions (which is pointless to do anyway) people gather around to hear us speak. Their excitement to see a Westerner soon became our excitement to see one. "Look, there's one! There's another one!" Its funny when you catch the eye of another Westerner. You feel an instant grin spread across your faces as if you're saying to each other, "Can you believe this? Me neither!"
The rumours are true that everything here is incredibly cheap. Food and accommodations cost us (together) about $16 a day. Its the shopping that's lethal. We moved to Khao San Rd. which is famous among travellers for their $8 Pumas and $5 Guccis. Of course they're not real, but boy they look good! With every shopping spree we tweak our bartering skills as we've learned it is an art....or a sickness. In fact, we've pretty much become obsessed with it. We actually find ourselves walking away from a vendor because they won't give it to us for 10 cents cheaper! Hey, 10 cents goes a long way out here. What we are also loving, although the books warn travellers against it, are the fresh fruit. Watermelon and pineapple kabobs, whole coconuts with straws in them, banana pancakes and of course the hundreds of things we can't decipher. The curries are amazing as well although we can't understand how its the most popular dish, yet they don't have toilet paper in the bathrooms. In fact, most bathrooms don't even have toilets. Just a small hole in the floor and a bucket of water beside it. Use your imagination. One thing no one can miss are the potent smells on the street. Anywhere at any time you can be smelling delicious Pat Thai being cooked on one side of you, and rotting fish guts on the other. The mixture is at first revolting, then you find yourself getting used to it, then you actually start to welcome it. Its very strange.
We had our first tuk-tuk experience and it was wild! You wouldn't believe how fast they go! We were flying through traffic, down center lanes between trucks and buses, screaming and laughing our heads off, while choking down the thick, black smoke coming out of every tailpipe. What an experience!
Bangkok is bright and colourful, but where the average minimum wage is 150 baht ($5.00) a day, it is also very run down. Everyday Ian and I walk under a highway overpass or over a sewer grate and say, "Gee, that looks like it could go any time now". The bus services are another experience. Crowded so its hard to breath our second time on one, it broke down and it took us 4 hours to get back to our hotel. A lot of deep breaths on that ride home.
So our Bangkok experience has been a success, although Ian has let the experience go to his head...literally. He has decided to go "monk" and shave his head. Just like the song says, "One night in Bangkok makes the hard man humble." This place will have you doing anything. Its been fun, but we're looking forward to our next stop, Chiang Mai!
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